"Where are you going,
my little one, little one?
Where are you going,
my baby, my own?
Turn around and you're two,
turn around and you're four,
turn around and you're a young
girl going out of the door"
Four years ago today I fell in love. This little person came into my life and turned it upside down. I've never been the same.
I won't go into all the details leading up to her birth, but I will say that when the time came for her to be born it was such a surreal moment - not at all what I pictured childbirth to be like. The lights were low, and I had one of my favorite CDs playing. It was only me, Bubblehead, my nurse, and my doctor. (One more nurse was there for the baby, and she stayed in the background.) There was no rushing around - no bright lights or people popping in and out. Between contractions the doctor chatted with us about the baby, and our day. I had no pain, thanks to the most wonderful invention known to mothers ever (epidural), and it was all very calm and relaxed.
Of course I was filled with excitement and nerves. And then there she was. Now every mother will say this but I'm telling you in my case it is true: She was the most beautiful little creature to ever grace this earth. (Still is) I couldn't believe she was here, and she was mine. Our doctor and nurses did their thing as quickly as they could, and then left the three of us alone. Suddenly we were a family.
Gabriella has been the star of the show ever since. We struggled with feedings and sleeping, but marveled at her every move. We held her and watched her wake up (which took about twenty minutes). After that she'd be worn out and need a nap.
She has THE. BEST. SMILE. She shares it liberally with the rest of the world, and seems to be able to wrap just about anyone around her little finger.
Four years ago today.... Seems like yesterday.
"Turn around and you're tiny,
turn around and you're grown,
turn around and you're a young wife
with babes of your own"
Don't mind me. I was going to sit down and post something wonderful (well, it might have been!), but it has taken me all night to get blogger to let me in. Who knows if I will even get this posted!
Minor updates from the house of Mommy Matters:
So much for my "blogging come-back" tonight. I'll try again tomorrow. All this yelling and gesturing at my computer has made me hungry!
Just a personal note to wish you all a Happy Easter, if applicable. If not, happy weekend!
I have been a bad "blog friend" the past few days, and it may continue a few more days, while I see Bubblehead off and begin a new routine of "single" mommy. Add to that packer, as well.
I am behind on responding to comments, and visiting your sites, but I want you all to know that I appreciate your visits here, and you will be "seeing" me around again soon.
Now, where did I put that packing tape...
Does anyone know where this could have come from? I'm pretty sure Ella made it up. I noticed her calling Little Man "Oregon" the other morning while pushing cars around the kitchen, and I had to ask.
"We're playing Sally and Oregon! I'm Sally, and he's Oregon."
I didn't get much more information, as this is apparently a very involved game, and she had no more time for me. I thought it very charming, though, the names she chose. I may have just found the inspiration for my first children's book.
We are "enjoying" a nice layer of snow here, and though it is officially spring, you wouldn't know it by looking out my window. I'm cold, and tired of the winter coats and gloves. I want to see the sunshine. I want to hear the birds sing. I want to feel the green grass on my bare feet.
The best I can do to bring a little sunshine to this dreary blog is to share a picture with you. This one is Bubblehead teaching me to rappel in June of 1996. That is the warm Utah landscape stretching out behind us.
Click to enlarge.
I had a moment with my daughter tonight, where we had one of those dreaded, serious talks. (No, not the sex talk).
I was combing out her hair after her bath, and she was babbling away to me. I have a small collage of old pictures in a frame in our bathroom, and she was asking me about one of them.
"That is my great-great grandmother. Her name was Retta, but she was called Grammy."
She kept asking me questions, and I just kept talking about Grammy. I never knew her because she died before I was born. This is what I was saying to her when I realized she had picked up on that word.
"Died?"
"Yes, Sweetie, she went to heaven."
I could just see the little wheels turning in her head. I just took a little piece of her innocence away! I don't want her worrying about this at four years old!
"Someday will someone die in this house?"
YIKES! I can't lie to her! What do I say now? I wish I was one of those mothers that just seems to know the perfect thing to say to her kids in every situation, but I'm not! I start telling her that she doesn't need to worry about this when these words come out of her little, adorable almost four-year-old mouth:
"I don't want to die!"
NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!
I am a born worrier. My mom worries like nobody's business - so much so she keeps herself awake at night over the silliest things, like how a movie ended. I worry a lot, too. I don't want this for my daughter, especially at this age. I can just picture her laying in her bed at night thinking about death.
A little piece of my heart is now broken. I know this is normal for this age, but since the day she was born I've been wishing there was a way to keep all the heartbreak and hurt and grief away from her, and only let all the good things in. Unrealistic, yes. But this is what makes me a mother.
"Boys are boys. Boys are not girls." Labels: quips
(Truer words have never been spoken)
He will be posting about it shortly
My husband has been posting about his coffee roaster, and while I'm sure if you like a good cup of coffee it's the way to go, but I am not a coffee lover, so in turn I'm going to talk about my love for good tea. Not those bags you buy at the grocery store, but really good loose-leaf tea.
I would recommend you buy your tea from a good tea shop. My favorite is the Perennial Tea Room, in Seattle. Now I don't have a tea shop anywhere near me, so I have to stock up when I'm traveling, or order online.
A tea shop will have their teas in large containers, and should be able to answer questions about the different teas, and allow you to smell them before buying. You pay by weight, so it's easy to sample different teas by just buying an ounce at a time if you like.
Stored properly loose leaf tea will keep for quite a while. (I've seen it reported anywhere from six months up to two years.) I keep my tea in tins to keep the light and air away from the leaves.
Now I've tried all the brewing methods out there, and this is, in my opinion, the best way to brew your tea. Unlike the balls, it gives the tea plenty of room to unfurl. These baskets work on most of my tea pots and mugs. Something like this, or this also works well.
I'm sure any of you that are actually interested in this have already heard the proper steps to brewing a good cup of tea. Always start with fresh, cold water. Bring to a rolling boil. (For black teas, which is what I usually drink, you want to use boiling water. For more delicate teas such as green or white, you want the water not quite boiling. The rule is for black teas bring the tea to the pot, and for others bring the pot to the tea. Make sense?)
I like my black teas to steep for 5 full minutes. Green teas steep less. Part of it is personal preference. I also like my black tea with just a little sugar, and a splash of milk. (Make a note of this for the next time I pay you a visit!)
In a perfect world I would enjoy a traditional English high tea everyday, complete with finger sandwiches of cucumber or salmon, and scones with Devonshire cream. (If you've never had a scone with strawberry jam and Devonshire cream, you are missing out!)
I hear someone snoring now, and since I can't stand that sound, I will take a hint and stop here. I'm sure I'm leaving things out. We'll see if Michele has anything to add to this...
You would probably never guess this about us, but Bubblehead and I hit the club scene nearly every night of the week. It's easy to do because we take our kids along with us. The place we like to go is VERY exclusive, and it's never crowed, which we're okay with, because we aren't there to meet people. We go for the music, and the fun!
Right after our family is finished with dinner each night we go put our party clothes on and head to the club. The music gets turned up, (and did I mention they play ALL our requests?) and the lights are dimmed. Little Man and Ella are the first ones out on the dance floor, and all eyes are on them and they turn circles and bounce to the beat of the music. (Little Man has a dance named after him, where he bounces around in a circle with his hands firmly on his knees – it's a crowd-pleaser for sure!)
Bubblehead and I like to hang back and watch for a bit before joining in with the kids, usually at their request. As soon as I pick Ella up she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck as we spin around.
Of course there are plenty of drinks to go around, too. Bubblehead enjoys a margarita or a rum and coke, while I usually stick with a Dr. Pepper or an occasional glass of wine. The kids suck down their juice like it's going out of style. (It's a good thing I'm the designated driver!)
The party goes on well past 7:30, and then for last call there is one or two final requests for favorite songs, and some graham crackers to help sober us up. Oh yes, do we know how to party!!
And then the lights come up, and it's time to leave the kitchen to go brush teeth. The kids never want to leave, and to be honest neither do we - until we're reminded of that heavenly event that follows clubbing: bedtime!
I'll let Bubblehead tell you all about it, but the short story is it went well. He ended up meeting with five people total, and spent two hours there. (He came in right after my last post.) They have some other people to interview, and it sounds like we will hear on Wednesday. When we got home there was a message from them about references (I guess they forgot to get them from him), so we're taking that as a good sign that he is still in the running.
Sorry to keep you all hanging. We promised Ella another swim before leaving, after which we got to hear her cry for over an hour about how she wasn't leaving. (Funny - she didn't want to go in the first place.) I'm happy to report that she did indeed come home with us, and was not left behind in Riverton. (We were tempted.)
I've got a few tales to tell from our trip, which I'll save for another time. I'm going to try to do some catching up on all of your sites now. :)
Two hours at a second interview, and he's still not back. This is a good sign, yes?
Thank you all for your advice on where to stay. As my mother is sick we were not able to pawn the kids off on her. The bed and breakfast would have been nice for some romantic moments and quiet reading, but I admit I love having internet access! The kids loved the pool - so much so that we will be swimming again before check-out.
We are in the almost-beautiful, not-so-exciting Riverton Wyoming, where Bubblehead is at this very moment at his second interview for the job he really wants. I am very torn over this matter. On the one hand this is the job Bubblehead wants, and so of course I want him to have it. On the other hand, it would require us moving here (or near here), and that I am not excited about.
I'm no stranger to small-town living, and I don't have anything against it. But I have gotten use to living in large cities over the last decade. The town we live in now is certainly small by comparison.
But that isn't the biggest issue. My family is where we are now. When Bubblehead was laid off a year ago and we decided to leave Denver and "come home" I thought we'd finally be settled, at least for a little while. I've been moving every few years all my life, and I was looking forward to staying in one place for a time.
I worry about the schools. Right now I have my kids on the waiting list for a wonderful school, and I really want them to go there! We just got ourselves in with doctors there, and here in Wyoming that's difficult to do, as there is a bit of crisis here, and doctors all have long waiting lists. I have a new nephew coming next month, and was looking forward to being a big part of his life.
I know these aren't reasons to pass up the first job that MAY come our way in six weeks, and a great job at that. If he gets it, we will move. I will have to come to terms with that. (sigh)
I hate that restaurant!
"It's a little childish and stupid, but then so is high school."
All this reminiscing has been great! I was just saying to a blogging friend of mine that I think I love the 80s music more now than I did then, because of all the memories that I have tied to it now. Thanks to all of you I have a new list of music to put on my iPod, and a long list of movies I want to see again!
On a little more serious note, before I end this 80s weekend (and because I am currently out of town until tomorrow, as far as I'm concerned it is still the weekend) I want to pose one more question for you all. What news stories from the 80s sticks out the most in your mind?
Two pop into my head. The Challenger explosion, because not only was it such a tragedy, but also because it's the first story of that kind (tragic) that I can remember in my life. Sadly there is a long list of such stories that I remember keeping my glued to my TV since then (Columbine, Oklahoma City, September 11th, etc.) but this is the first one like that I really remember. I was in 5th grade when it happened, and I remember watching that footage over and over. Even now when I see a shuttle lift-off on TV I half expect to see that horrible explosion....
The other that comes to mind is Baby Jessica. I remember that poor baby being stuck for days (was it?), and then the night they finally got her out I had been at the athletic club with my dad and brother playing racketball. We walked in and watched the footage of her being pulled up. A scary story with a happy ending.
But enough about me - what stories etched themselves into your memory?
Phew! You guys ROCK with all your music! I don't know about you but I could use a break. I'm going to kick off my jelly shoes (isn't that what they were called?) and watch a movie - care to join me?
Now, which 80s video shall we pop in?
Welcome to the all 80s weekend here at Mommy Matters! It's going to be totally awesome! Dig out those legwarmers and parachute pants, and come on in. The Pac Man tournament starts in 30 minutes, and there are Pop Rocks for everyone!
To start us off, what would a party be without music? Line up here and chime in with your favorite 80s songs so I can keep this party going! Totally!!
I'll start us off with Soft Cell - Tainted Love!
- Large chain hotel with cable, high-speed wireless, indoor pool and jacuzzi, with room service
OR
- quaint bed-and-breakfast (cabin style), no TV or internet, beautiful view, and free breakfast. (25 miles out of your way, but about the same $$$ as chain hotel)
(And also, does it change your decision if you have two little ones with you?)
No, I couldn't say that to my 21 month old, so I'm going to vent it here. That boy is on my very last nerve! If he doesn't start talking soon one of us is going to have a nervous breakdown! I can't take anymore whining, which is is main form of commmunication now.
Oh sure, he says a few words. On top of his list is "no", which is always used in a loud, firm voice, often accompanied with a pointing finger for emphasis. Charming, Son, very charming.
He also says Mama, which isn't said so much as it is chanted over and over and over and over.... That's my name, don't wear it out.
He says Ella, which is always yelled. This will never change, as I'm sure at 15 he will still be searching for his sister from the other side of the house. ELLLLLLAAAA!!! It's a good thing I like her name.
That's about it really. He said light once, several months ago, but doesn't have any use for it. I swear I heard him say banana. (nana). Most of the time it's pointing and whining.
My son can't talk and my daughter is still on a poop strike. Someone should revoke my mommy licence. I am failing.
I want to send you over to visit the very special Elle. She has an important reminder that I think we could all use now and then.
God (or fate, if you prefer) works in mysterious ways. Please pay a visit to Hula Doula and read this inspirational story. (Seriously, don't miss this one.)
Take a minute and pop on in to see Jenny, of Jenny On The Spot. Be sure to congratulate her - she just had a baby girl!!
And for a little comic relief, do go see Mamacita at Scheiss Weekly, and find out how she took out a large den full of snakes with some matches and Mr. Clean!!
You'll never guess what I have done. It's a testiment to my character, I'd say. (And my insanity!)
I have agreed to watch my good friend's two boys today for the entire afternoon. Incase you're keeping score, that puts me in charge of four children, ages 5, almost 4, 3, and 21 months. And I thought I was emotionally unstable before - just wait until tonight!
This is the kind of friend I am, though. You need something that I can get you? I'm there. You need help? Count on me. (Have no doubt that I will be calling her in the future for payment in-kind, though.)
If you hear screaming coming from the general direction of Wyoming, that would be me.
Gabriella, upon hearing me coming back up the stairs: Labels: quips
"I didn't get in trouble!"
I have a small fear of spiders, and select other creepy-crawlies. (Only the really ugly ones.) It's something I've lived with all my life. It's not a big deal - I can even bring myself to kill a spider if I have to, although if there is any other adult in the vicinity it is absolutely their job!
Apparently my grandmother became aware of this fear of mine several years back, and decided to take it upon herself to help me conquer it. (This is my Dad's mother - not the grandmother I posted about last week.)
Let me pause here to tell you that my grandmother is a little different. I hesitate to elaborate on this, because I don't want to sound as if I don't love and respect her, because I certainly do, but suffice it to say that she is a little weird.
Her form of therapy for me was a little wooden cricket, painted with bright colors. ( The shape itself was very much like a real cricket, as was the size. The bright greens and yellows with touches of red, however, left little doubt that it was a toy.
Bubblehead and I had to laugh about this as soon as we had a moment alone, because first of all, I wasn't afraid of crickets. And secondly, this thing looked nothing like a real cricket, so even if I was, this wasn't going to help. (But it was nice of her to care, and for that I love her!)
Her efforts weren't completely wasted. I'm still not afraid of crickets.
I have two other blogrolls that exist just on my computer - one for blogs I can't get to every day, but still love and try to get to when I can, and one is a list of bloggers who I get regular comments from, who I also like to try to read when I get time. (It sure is difficult keeping up with everyone, but I have to have some sort of organization here.)
The quandary is that I would love to have all of these blogs listed on my site, so that they are all in one place, and so that you all know that I care and that I'm reading, even when I'm not commenting. But that is three blogrolls, and I think my site is cluttered enough as it is. What to do?
Off to get my hair whacked. Fingers crossed!!
Gabriella and I sing songs together before bedtime. I love this special time we spend together. I love to sing, but have a horrible voice, so I love the fact that as a mother there is no one else my kids would rather have sing to them than me. (For now)
I used to get to pick the songs, but now the boss does that. Tonight it was a rousing version of "Three Green and Speckled Frogs". I always lower my voice so that I can hear her, with all her little mispronunciations. We count down in the verses the green-and-speckled frogs: three, two, one. When we run out of frogs I look to her for our encore, to which she answers, (big grin on her face)...
"Ten green and speckled frogs, sittin' on a hollow log..."
I guess I'm not the only one who loves our time together.
This quote is courtesy of Amy of Prochein Amy.
"I may not know karate, but I know crazy. And I'm not afraid to use it."
(This conversation has been condenced in the interest of both the writer's and the reader's time) Labels: quips
Gabriella: "Mama, what are the birds' names?"
Me: "I don't know, Sweetie. They can't tell me, because they don't speak English."
Gabriella: "What do they speak?"
Me: "Well, I don't know. What do you think?"
Gabriella: "I think they speak birdlish! And the squirrels speak squirrelish!"
(Well of course!)
Okay, we're going to play this game again, because it was fun last time, and who couldn't use a game once and a while to distract them from life? Here's a review - I'll take the first random 20 songs to pop up on my iPod, and give you a snippet of the lyrics here. Your job is to guess the title and artist of the song. Get it right first, and I'll strike out the lyrics and put a pretty little link to your site for all to see. (Some of these songs could possibly have been recorded by more than one singer or group. In that case I will accept any artist who has done it.)
UPDATE: You guys are awesome! You got them all!! Thanks for playing along!"I won't be your dirty secret, I won't be your cure-all pill,"Sarah got I Will, But, by SheDaisy"Siam's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness. This grips me more than would a muddy old river or reclining Buddah." Veda got One Night In Bankok, by Murray Head."One day I ventured in love never once suspecting what the final result would be." J&J\'s Mom got Race Is On (on my ipod by Sawyer Brown)"After seven days, He was quite tired, so God said: 'Let there be a day just for picnics with wine and bread.'" J&J\'s Mom got God Shuffled His Feet, by Crash Test Dummies."I don't want a pizza, I don't want a piece of peanut brittle, I don't want a pear. I don't want a bagel I don't want a bean I wouldn't like a bag of beef or a beer..." Mamacita got Dinner Bell, by They Might Be Giants."It's not her fault that she's so irresistible. But all the damage she's caused isn't fixable. Every twenty seconds you repeat her name..." Mamcita got Objection (Tango) by Shakira."I do not want to be a rose. I do not wish to be pale pink, but flower scarlet, flower gold, and have no thorns to distance me..." J&J\'s Mom got Bright As Yellow, by Innocence Mission."I want somebody who care for my passionately, with every thought and with every breath." Veda got Somebody, by Depeche Mode."I'm tryin' to cut down on my caffeine consumption, so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee, and I like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast, and on the way to work I like to get a cup of coffee." Mitzi got Stress, by Jim's Big Ego."Bags are packed, I just can't wait. Gotta get out before it gets too late. I don't need you any more, and I don't need your love for sure." Sarah got Walk Away From Love (on my ipod, by Yaz)"There'll be times, when my crimes will seem almost unforgivable. I give in to sin because you have to make this life liveable." Ella got Strangelove, by Depeche Mode."Stay in your life boats people. Stay in your life boats people. It's murder out there." Femme Forte got Sharks, by Morphine."I got lotsa style, check my gold diamond rings.I can go for miles if you know what I mean." Mrs. Mac got Get This Party Started, by Pink."I can turn and walk away or I can fire the gun, staring at the sky, staring at the sun. Whichever I shose it amounts to the same, absolutely nothing." Monique got Killing An Arab, by The Cure."Half my life is in books' written pages. Live and learn from fools and from sages..." Mamacita got Dream On, by Aerosmith."I loved you since I knew you. I wouldn't talk down to you. I have to tell you just how I feel. I won't share you with another boy." Sarah got Roxanne, (on my ipod, by The Police)"I don't know what they told you. Don't even care what about. All I know is I'm clean as a whistle, Baby. I didn't let the cat out." Judy and Sarah Irene worked together to get Never Said, by Liz Phair."I like to play the drums. I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism. I'll show you what I know and you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums..." Mrs. Mac got Doctor Worm, by They Might Be Giants."All you hear is time stand still in travel and feel such peace and absolute. The stillness still that doesn't end but slowly drifts into sleep." Mamacita got You Are The Everything, by REM."If she says come inside I'll come inside for her. If she says give it all I'll give everything to her." Monique got Sanctified, by Nine Inch Nails.
Unfortunately Rebecca didn't leave me any email or homepage link, so I can't answer her directly, but the answer to her challenge is Strawberry Wine, by Deena Carter.
My last post saw me wallowing in writer's block. And then I received an assignment from the wonderful Lonna, of Mom and More:"Let's see if I can help with a question... If you could buy ONE thing right now, at any store, what would it be? Only one thing, at any cost."
This is a tough choice for me, seeing as I love to shop, and have been limited in my shopping abilities for some time now.
The first thing that popped into my mind, though, was a new digital camera. The one I have is several years old, and only 2.0 megapixels. Pictures are very important to me, as a mother, and as a genealogist. I can't keep my children little, but if I can capture a moment - any moment - with my camera, I can keep a piece of that forever and ever. Pictures in a family tree are invaluable pieces of history. For me they make those names and dates come alive - they were real people. Pictures are also just a lot of fun, and a great way to see the world through someone else's eyes.
So I would love to replace my digital camera to increase the quality of my pictures. Of course if money were no object I would go for something like this, but really something over 5 megapixels with an SD slot would make me happy. And manual adjustments would be a nice bonus, as well, although even though I use to always take pictures manually, now that I'm a busy mom, I usually just let the camera make the adjustments automatically.
So let me turn this around on you. Do you have a digital camera? Which one, and what do you love and hate about it? And recommendations for me?
Bubblehead warned me this would happen. He told me I should stop talking so much, or I would use up all my words, and would have to go through the rest of my life mute.
Well, I think it may have happened. You see I've been sitting here at my computer for hours now trying to write something worth reading, and trying to comment on all my favorite blogs, and I just can't. I've got nothing. I can't concentrate on reading, and I can't focus on any one thought long enough to write about it.
Of course leave it to me to come up with the longest possible way to tell you I've run out of words.
Tiny arms give the biggest hugs.
Are your kids driving you crazy at night? Are they getting their second wind just as you are trying to get them into bed? Is your entire family suffering from sleeplessness because your kids are full of energy at bedtime?
Well look no further than De-Energizer! Simply spray your kids down with De-Energizer before putting them in their pajamas at night, and no more will that static electricity recharge their batteries! They will remain tired and worn out, even with the worst case of static cling!
De-Energizer comes in two great scents guaranteed to keep your kids sleepy - Lovely Lavender and Soothing Spring Rain. Not only will your kids be hopping obediently into bed each night, but they will smell so sweet you'll want to lay down with them and read them one more story before turning out the light and enjoying the rest of your evening without the demands for drinks of water or searching out lost toys.
De-Energizer! Reclaim your evenings!!
This post was inspired by Suzanne at Contemblogging. Thanks, Suzanne!
I've posted before about the chaos that ensues here in the Mommy Matters household near bedtime, and I think I've got it figured out now.
I've noticed that my children get a second wind right about the time we put them in their pajamas. The little fleece shirts go over their heads, and their energy level instantly rises, along with all the little hairs on the tops of their precious heads. (Do you see where I'm going with this?)
Then they run circles around their father and me, babbling incoherently and giggling until they can't breathe. Bubblehead and I sit with our eyelids propped open and searching for the energy to get up off the floor and get their teeth brushed and tie tuck them into bed. And then tonight it hit me - static electricity. The charge created by their jammies is acting as a battery charger for my babies. Thank goodness I solved the mystery! Now, for the solution....
I'm thinking I will triple up on the dryer sheets and add a humidifier to the house in order to fight off the static electricity. And as a final precaution, my children will now be required to have their jammies on no later than 3:00 pm, just to be sure their batteries run down before bedtime.
Once again I'm guest posting, this time over at Short and Sweet. When I asked Cori if she had any ideas for me on what to write about she told me to just make it "short and sweet"! I though "Hey! That's great! I don't have to worry about coming up with long clever post." (A short, clever post is always easier!) Imagine my surprise to find that I don't do "short" too well. I guess I'm too long-winded!
I finally did come up with something that shouldn't take a day and a half to read! Head on over there and say hello to the lovely Cori!!
I just learned that everything in my life has been written out, and it's all recorded in a book disguised as a children's board book. Every move I'm to make, and every word I'm to say has already been decided.
Thank goodness my daughter has knowledge of said book, and is taking it upon herself to be sure that everyone in the house does not stray from the "script" as she calls it. (Who knows what parallel universe we would all be thrown into if we were to say, wear blue instead of white tomorrow! The ramifications are unthinkable!)
"Daddy! Sit here! You have to sit here. It's in the script!"
This is a three year old, people. She came up with this one on her own. Can you imagine what we will have to deal with at thirteen? All I can say is someone will be needing therapy. I don't know yet if it will be her, or me.
Gabriella and her grandma wandering around the backyard in early spring. Labels: quips
Grandma: "Ella, look at all those tulips! Aren't they pretty?"
Gabriella: "I have "twolips"! They are red, and they are on my face!"
(Isn't that cute - she made a joke!)
Sounds nice, doesn't it. A never-ending weekend. I can tell you from experience that it is, in fact, not all it's cracked up to be.
Bubblehead has been out of work now for four weeks, and now that he is home every day, we've adopted our Saturday routine. We lazy around in the mornings, not in a hurry to shower or go out. The house doesn't receive much attention. The kids watch videos, and we spend time on the computer, listening to music. Nice for once a week, but this everyday laziness is taking its toll on us.
The problem is that it's very difficult to get yourself out of bed and get moving if you don't really have to do it. I keep telling Bubblehead that we need set the alarm and make ourselves get up, but I'm the first one to hit that snooze button in the morning. (If I hear it, that is.)
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm looking forward to Monday.
I've mentioned before that Bubblehead and I have been together since high school - fourteen years now. I think that may be why there is a child-like quality to our relationship at times. This is a conversation he and I had while watching TV recently.
Sitting watching TV, about 11:00 pm. Donuts flash upon the screen.
Me: "Wait! Pause it!"
Bubblehead pauses the TV
Me: "I want donuts!"
Bubblehead: stares at me blankly, knowing where this is going.
Me: "Really! I want donuts.... PLEASE!"
B: "Then go get some"
Me: "I can't go. I'm not dressed."
B: "Neither am I"
Me: "But you LOOK dressed"
B: "I can't go out in sweats" (Bubblehead has a rule about not going out in public in sweatpants. It just can't be done.)
Me: "Yes you can! It's after eleven! Between the hours of eleven pm and four am it's perfectly acceptable to go out in sweats." (If he can make up rules, then so can I)
B: "There won't be be any donuts at this time of night."
Me: "Yes, there will. PLEASE!"
B: "I'm not going out to get donuts!"
I give up, because though I really want a donut, I'm not going out to get one, and it's clear he isn't into the idea of fetching one for me. We go back to watching TV. Soon lasagna flashes upon the screen.
Me: "I want lasagna!!"
B: rolls his eyes at me and sighs. I think he's thinking that even though I'm the cutest thing he's ever laid eyes on and he loves me more than life itself, forever is a very long time when you begin it at nineteen.
No he never did go get me the lasagna or the donuts, but he's still more than I deserve.
My maternal grandmother was a tiny little woman, especially standing next to my very tall grandfather. He died in 1983. Of all my four grandparents, my mom's mom was the one I was closest to.
She was always happy. I mean always. She grew up on a farm, and until the day she died she was up at 5:30 singing songs. I saw her cry after Grandpa died, and it was so disturbing to me, because it was so out of character for her in my eyes. She loved my brother and me, who were her only grandchildren. (Can you say spoiled!) Grandma loved to take us to parks when we were little. It is rumored that I have played at every park in the greater Denver area.
She was born on a farm in Colorado in 1921, and was a twin. Her parents had both immigrated to this country from Norway - separately. They didn't meet until they were here in the US, and later married. Grandma always wanted to see Norway, the land where her parents had been born. She never got the chance.
After I got married and moved to Georgia, my husband started going out to sea, and I was a newlywed, living thousands of miles from home, with my husband away. Oh yes, and I was nineteen. I kept myself busy with the boat's wives club, working part time in a video store, and going to college on base at night. Grandma did a great job looking after me in her own way. She sent me postcards while Bubblehead was gone, so I wouldn't feel so lonely. She even sent me little gifts to cheer me up.
She had sent me a little package to me shortly before Bubblehead got back from his first patrol. I don't even remember what all was in it, but there was a beautiful pen included. I had meant to call her and thank her, but I was busy with college finals, and preparing for the big homecoming.
One Sunday my mom called me, and told me that Grandma had collapsed in church that day. My uncle had been with her, and there were some wonderful people there who took care of her until they got her to the hospital. She had had a heart attack. (The same thing that killed Grandpa eleven years earlier.) Mom rushed down to Denver to be with her.
Grandma went through surgery, and was doing well. Mom kept me updated. I was so worried when I initially heard, but now that Mom was there and Grandma seemed to be doing so well, the worry faded away, and I continued plugging away at school, and enjoying having my husband home with me.
Then on Thursday I had a night class, and when I got home and walked in the door, Bubblehead had dinner almost ready. He got me and glass of wine, and told me to sit down. He sat down next to me and said "Your mom called..."
That's all he had to say. I understood. He held me while I cried, and then of course I called my mom. Not only had I just lost my grandmother, but I knew my mother had just lost her mother - a loss I still cannot fathom.
I wanted to go home for the funeral, but was in the middle of finals. Bubblehead offered to send me, but Mom told me to stay and finish my tests. Grandma would have understood. I didn't go.
Part of me regrets not going. I would have liked to be there for my mom, and my family. I would have liked the opportunity to "say goodbye". Yes, I have been to the cemetery many times, but for MY part, I think it would have been helpful. I had a hard time for a long time afterwards with the fact that she was gone.
My biggest regret, however, was not making that call. Why hadn't I called her and thanked her for the pen? Because I was so busy I couldn't take 10 minutes to call and thank her for the time and thought she put into sending me a package? I didn't even take the time to call her in the hospital. It actually never even occured to me at the time. I had planned on calling her when she got home. It never occurred to me that she wouldn't.
"I'm going to the nut shop where it's fun!"
We arrived home late last night after deciding to take an alternative route home. I can now report to you that the road between Rock Springs and Riverton looks nearly the same at the one between Rock Springs and Rawlins. Thank goodness for that. However I can also report that even from great distance I could see the sun setting over the Grand Tetons, and the Wind River Mountains are gorgeous!
We had a nice trip. Ella and Little Man had lots of fun with their cousins. Bubblehead enjoyed nine holes of golf and some X-box with his nephew, and I had some nice visits with his mother, and (insert sarcasm here) got to listen to his sisters spill all the town gossip. (I'm so glad I don't live there anymore!)
I am still Bubblehead's only wife, and we are no more mormon than we were when we left. Not for his parents not trying, though. Time to settle in and play catch-up. More interesting posts to come...
At the last minute we've decided to go visit Bubblehead's family for the weekend, and let the kids play with their cousins before he gets tied down to another pesky job. I will try to check in while we're gone, but seeing as his parents think the internet is nothing but porn, it may be hard to find a connection. I'll be back in a few days. Miss me. :)
I'll leave you with a little something though. Here is one of my favorite pictures of my guys. By the clock on the wall I can tell you that my dear little Alexander is two hours and eight minutes old.
My first experience with a cemetery that I can remember was Crown Hill, located in Jefferson County, Colorado. This is where, when I was eight years old, I accompanied my family to the burial of my grandfather. This was also my first real experience with death. It was then that I realized that I too one day would die.
From that day, and all through my childhood, I remember going there with my grandmother. She would plant and tend flowers by the headstones of my grandfather and our other family members buried there. My brother and I would play among the graves. Always respectful, we never stood or climbed on the headstones, but our laughter was never stifled. My grandmother would tell us of my great-grandmother Cosima, who was an accomplished pianist, beautiful, and sadly died when my grandfather was only a baby. She taught me not through words but through her behavior that though a cemetery should be respected, you could feel comfortable there. These were happy moments; peaceful moments.
As a teenager a friend and I would occasionally walk through the cemetery near her house, and we'd talk of our lives, and wonder about the lives of those who now resided beneath our feet. We always paid special attention to the section of the cemetery set aside for babies and young children.
In my young adulthood I developed a love of genealogy, as my grandfather had once had. He had done extensive research on our family history, and my grandmother entrusted all his work to me. My great task was inputting dozens of his hand-written notebooks and letters onto my computer. Then I started scanning pictures. I got to know where and who I came from.
When I was barely an adult I flew to Connecticut to visit my new husband who was there completing sub-school. While he was attending schools during the day I would wander around a cemetery just across the street from our hotel. I felt I was among a history I had never been near before, as the dates of the headstones on the East Coast go back much further than those I normally saw.
When my husband and I took a camping trip in the mountains of North Carolina, we took a day hike up a winding dirt road, climbing higher and higher. When we finally reached the top, we found the most serene little family cemetery, with a wrought-iron fence around its perimeter. There with the clear mountain air, the cloudless sky and bright sun shining down, I felt overwhelming peace and happiness. Of all the final resting places, this had to be the most beautiful.
Not long after that we visited the famous Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, Georgia after reading a little bit about its history and residents. We would visit Bonaventure several more times while living in the Southeast.
Full circle, I found myself living in Denver, and once again able to visit Crown Hill Cemetery. My grandmother is now buried there next to her true love. No longer do the flowers bloom there. In the spring you can still see the tulip bulbs strain to push their green stems towards the sun, but are too old to get very far. I took my husband and children to the place that I would play as a child, and listen to my grandmother teach me about gardening, and family. Those three large flat headstones several plots away are still there, just as they were. My brother and I were always careful never to walk upon them, but I remember him teasing me that if they were ever covered with leaves I should never brush them aside, or I would see my own name chiseled on the stone.
I tried to impart to my daughter a little of the family history I have come to love and cherish, though being so young she was more interested in skipping among the headstones and gathering pine cones. I sat upon my grandparents' graves, and while everyone else was talking and laughing at Ella, I had a quiet moment to "introduce" them to my new family - the one they hadn't gotten to meet.
Cemeteries are not scary places for me. They glow with a light that the rest of the world doesn't. They are quiet, peaceful, and reflective. They are stories untold, and mysteries unsolved.
Many members of my family talk of being cremated. For me, I want a small piece of ground, quiet and tended to by nature. I want a beautiful headstone, unlike the flat mower-friendly ones of today. I want an occasional stranger to wander by and see my name, and wonder for just a moment about my life, before admiring the scenery, and reflecting on their own.
I've been spending some time lately writing about memories of mine. Some happy, and some not. Before starting this blog I hadn't written really since college, and even then it was rarely creative writing. I studied journalism, and later psychology.
I have come to find the power in writing. Memories that I have thought about plenty of times over the years, suddenly when put into writing strike me so much harder. I have found myself sitting at the keyboard crying. Bubblehead looks over at me and asks me why I'm smiling at the computer screen. I didn't realize these emotions would slam me down like this just because I type them out.
And on a related note, you will find a few long-winded posts (are there any other kind here?) from me in the near future about me and my past. I hope you'll enjoy them. I'll intermingle some lighter, easier to comment on stuff, so as to keep you awake.
Another slow week for me in the blogosphere, but I found a couple of great posts that I would like to bring to your attention.
The fabulous Psycho Kitty at SBFH wrote one of the most wonderful poems about chocolate! Get out your Easter candy and go read Ode to Dove Eggs.
Bubblehead posed a great question to his readers this week. Go check out his post here, and be sure to read the entire post - it isn't about politics.
And finally have you been keeping up with the Golly Blog Howdy Variety Show? Mellie Helen has had a slew of guest posters over at her site over the last couple of weeks. Be sure to stop by and catch up on the fun! (You might even see someone you know over there! ;)
Carmi over at Written Inc. posted a beautiful picture from his walk to work yesterday, and asked if his readers could do the same. Thanks to Carmi I was inspired to close down the computer and take the kids for a walk around our neighorhood. To show the stark contrast between my day and Carmi's, here's a couple of pictures I took during our jaunt.
I promised Goldberry from Silver Linings some pictures of Ella and her Care Bears. I'm pretty sure her adorable Firefly has more paraphernalia than we do. You be the judge. (You can view Firefly's stash here.)
Gabriella: "(This) is the plan." Labels: quips
Me: "No, Gabriella. Mommy and Daddy make the rules."
Gabriella: "But I talk really easily!"
So this is her reasoning. Because she can talk, she should make the rules. Sounds about right for a three year old....
Since becoming a mother I have become a connoisseur, if you will, of lullabies. I have searched for years for those perfect songs for our quiet times together. I sing lullabies to them at bedtime, and make lullaby CDs for them to listen to as they fall asleep.
It's become almost an obsession at times. Finding just the right song, and then just the right version of that song. I've put a lot of time into it over the years, and have put together what I consider to be a very nice collection. Every now and then a new song will make the cut, and one that wasn't quite right gets dropped.
I've often seen posts on parenting boards here and there by new mothers or mothers-to-be asking about lullabies, and so I am going to share with you now, at no charge, my list of lullabies, in random order. (Sadly there are a couple on the list that I don't know who to credit for singing, as they were downloaded for free, but it was just those two, I swear!!)
I remember my grandmother singing me Down In The Valley. That song will forever be tied to her in my mind. This is the kind of memory I hope my children have of us when they hear the songs I sing to them. A warm, fuzzy feeling of motherly love. In my eternal search for bedtime songs, I'd love to hear what your favorites are, particularly if there is a lullaby you remember someone singing to you.
You see, I already have another song to search out. Why is it I never thought to add Down In The Valley before?
My Little Man is all boy. He loves to shake his little fists and yell. He growls while grinning mischievous grins. He throws things, not out of anger, but out of pure joy. He pushes his little trucks around rumbling and screeching. He gets excited when faced with his daddy's favorite sports teams' emblems. I fear for the amount of testosterone I will be faced with later in his life.
As much of a boy as he is, occasionally we get a glimpse of his feminine side. In this case it takes the form of a Teletubby. Laa Laa to be exact.
His Laa Laa is a six-inch tall stuffed toy. He sees it and goes nuts, hugging it close to him, chattering away. If I turn on a teletubbies video for him he runs to find his precious Laa Laa, holding it in his dimpled arms and pointing excitedly at the television. And let it also be known that you don't mess with Laa Laa! Heaven help the ears of the person who dare take Laa Laa from this boy. This is such a different side of him.
Recently while on a family trip to the mall, we were waiting for Bubblehead when I spied a Dipsy, exactly like his Laa Laa, sitting in a clearance bin. As a way to pacify him during our wait I picked it up and showed it to him. Big. Mistake. The poor boy's face contorted into utter sadness when we put it back to be on our way. And of course Mommy found it so sweet and pathetic that Little Man now owns Dipsy.
Thank goodness there are only four Teletubbies. We all know how this played out with the Care Bears.
