Being a mommy is something I have always wanted. And now I am one. A dream come true, in a sick, twisted way I suppose. I was very disappointed to find that once the mommy in me came out, the rest of who I am ran for cover. Motherhood must have scared the crap out of those pieces of me, because I'm having a terribly difficult time recovering them.
Success #1. I have rediscovered the piano player in me. You may know from reading my 100 things list that I started playing the piano at the age of 5, and took lessons all through school. There were more years in there than I can remember that I wanted to quit taking lessons, but my mom wouldn't let me do it. (Thanks, Mom!)
I got married, moved to Georgia, and my piano didn't follow me. The lessons stopped, and so did my playing. Besides the occasional pounding out a familiar song, and playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" for my kids, I haven't played since high school.
Over Thanksgiving while at my parent's house I dug out my Christmas books and sat down at the piano to really play. I couldn't believe the way it came back to me, and how much fun I was having. I was playing Christmas carols while Gabriella sang along. Little Man danced around. I actually felt the pride my mom had in me as she cleaned the kitchen and listened to me play.
Bam! There it was. It was me. Not Mommy, but Christine. It was hiding. It saw me come in the door, two whining children in tow, and it tried to get away, but this time I was fast enough. I saw it and I wrestled it to the floor.
Christine: Mommy, piano player. Not bad. I wonder how many other pieces are lurking out there. I know I heard one whimpering somewhere in the dark last night.
This is refreshing to read: that parents can be individuals as well, outside of their family roles, and share it with family anyway. :-)
I'm a fellow piano player who also started out when she was five; who stuck with it with the help of my mother who also wouldn't let me quick; and who is trying to stick with it for as long as possible.
I find most of the "Mom" blogs out there fairly mundane, but yours hits a spot. I hope you keep on writing.
It does come back -- gradually at first, and then *whoosh*! *grin*
I have been through this twice. I raised two kids to adulthood, became a grandma, and then had another baby. It took a while for the "Misti" to come back the first time. I can't say for sure that she was back until the younger one was five or so.
Oddly, this time I never quite lost her, though it was tenuous for the first 18 months.
Congratulations! It's important to keep our selves. We have so much more to teach our kids than we can as "uber-Mommy". ;)
Misti
As Jack Grows
By 
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10:40 AM
The rest of who you are comes back as the little ones get older. My boys are now 12 and 13. The ages bring different challenges, but I have more time to be more than just Mommy now than I did ten years ago.
Suzi at www.myownthoughts.com
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7:16 PM
