I have two children. (A boy and a girl. Who could ask for more?) I also have postpartum depression. My hormones are still out of whack. I have confidence that they will come back in whack over the next year now that I’m not breastfeeding my son any longer.
I found that when I was really wanting a baby and when I was pregnant, I loved watching those baby shows. You know the ones – “A Baby Story”, “Maternity Ward”, “Special Delivery” and the like. These programs show you (nearly) every detail of giving birth. I couldn’t get enough of these shows, and would watch them every chance I got. I don’t know if I thought I was educating myself on child birth, or if I was excitedly anticipating my own little arrival, or if it’s like a car accident and you just can’t look away.
After giving birth to my children I wasn’t so interested in these shows anymore. I guess after pushing a human out of your vagina you aren’t too anxious to watch it over and over again.
Tonight while settling in to surf some blogs and watch TV, I found myself stopping on one of these shows. Not only that, but I watched it for the entire hour! I began to feel that little flutter in my heart (or perhaps that was my uterus – it’s so hard to tell.) I’ve made no secret of the fact that I do want another baby someday. (My hubby has also made no secret of the fact that he does not want another baby. Stay tuned to see how this one plays out.) I really didn’t think I’d start feeling that baby urge quite so soon. I’m a little worried about my sanity….