Sunday, May 15, 2005

Jaded

Many of you know that we just completed a move, that was a necessity after Bubblehead lost his job. This is the second time this has happened to us, the first time being just about a year ago. Both times it blind-sided us.

Okay, the first time it did make sense. He worked in the airline industry, and after September 11th, lay-offs were happening left and right. He made it through several "waves" of lay-offs, but then it happened. We didn't see it coming only because he was the best manager they had there - the GM couldn't seem to run the place a day without him. Office politics being what it is, though, it happened.

We picked ourselves up, decided to go spend a little time with my family, and the first Monday we were there he went out and got a job. That was it - we were moving.

This time, though, it was out of the blue. He was accused of something that didn't happen, had witnesses to attest to that, but was let go anyway. We believe it had something to do with him telling the truth about the owner's son's performance. That's not a place he should be working anyway, but still it put our lives up in the air again. We couldn't believe it.

So here we are, "settled" once again, with an income and insurance. We are renting while we look to buy. (But then, that is what we were doing before as well. Thank goodness we didn't buy!) Our little town is beautiful. We are looking forward to the summer - taking the kids up the mountain and getting involved in our new community.

BUT. (There is always a big but, isn't there.)

I'm having a hard time with the whole idea of moving out here and putting down roots. I want a home of my own again, but I'm afraid of buying. If he loses this job, we would certainly be moving again. I even find myself wondering as I'm unpacking boxes how long before I have to pack this back up again.

I know I should just let it go. What are the chances.... (knock on wood.) And even if it were to happen - AGAIN - we can't live our lives like that.

Twice the other day while out in the backyard with the kids I heard a car door shut and my first thought was "he's home". Having him come home early use to be an exciting, fun thing. Now to see him home early would put knots in my stomach.



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Name: Christine
Location: Wyoming, United States
I'm the Mom of two. They drive me crazy. I love them dearly. I want one more. I'm not insane, yet. My hubby says I'm a snob with an inferiority complex. There is more to me than being a mother. I just don't remember any of it.

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