I feel like a failure as a mother. I always pictured myself as this uber-mom. Homecooked meals and crafty projects and nature walks and kid-friendly trips about town for fun and education. This is who I would love to be...
In reality I am in the midst of an small identity "crisis" and postpartum depression. I have lost interest in pretty much everything. Some mornings the thought of having to get up, shower, get dressed, and then dress the kids and find them something healthy to eat is overwhelming to me. And then I have to feed them again at lunch! It never ends!
I see myself in Gabriella's misbehaviors. Her misbehaviors seem to happen much more frequently lately. I know this is my fault. I don't know how to correct it. When it was just her and I at home all day (before the PPD) I was so patient with her - perhaps too patient at times. Now I have very little. I'm really trying hard, but sometimes I just don't know how to handle her. How can and handle her when I can't handle myself?
Saw that you left a comment on my husband's site (Bombadil's - http://bombadil.typepad.com/bombadils), so I thought I'd stop by. I really enjoyed reading your site and I LOVE the colors here!!
I'll be back soon!!
Goldberry
(http://silverlining.typepad.com/silver_linings)
By 
, at
6:22 PM
Hang in there. I know it can be tough. I've got three daughters and it was hard enough on me, as the father. And I got to head out to work, interact with other people and didn't have all of the changes going on in my body that comes after you give birth.
By 
Aldon Hynes, at
7:58 PM
Know what? I don't think it's your fault. And although her behavior reflects on you to an extent, she's also her own person. If there's one thing I've learned as a mother, it's this: We can't make them do ANYTHING. Not one single thing. Much as we'd like them to believe otherwise, we do not have control. All we can do is give them choices, and make one of the choices look a whole lot more attractive than the other ones. But they decide their own behavior.
Good luck. I've been there. I'm actually there right now.
- QC
http://www.quirkychick.org
By , at
5:37 AM
PPD sucks! I am soooo lucky to have gotten two of my three kids as a bonus with my marriage. Two more kids, zero more pregnancies.
Don't worry about your lil one. You'll both be fine. I'm relatively new to your blog, so I'm wondering how old the wee one is, and how severe your PPD is? Are you getting treatment?
As for "making" your sweet little girl behave, the only thing I can say is CONSISTENCY. Make it the same consequences for the same actions EVERY TIME...which can be hard if your moods are swinging. It will be an effort, but it WILL help.
Ok, I can't keep it to one thing. I have to mention the other thing, too. LOL Don't let her see that she has you riled up. Try to use the same tone of voice each time. If she sees that she is getting a reaction out of you, she'll continue misbehaving just to see your reaction.
Chances are, she's noticing that you're not feeling up to par. She's noticing that she has someone else to compete with for your attention, too. Try something simple to help aleviate her fears. With my daughter, I started telling her, "I love being your mommy!" every night before bed, and every afternoon before her nap. It's amazing what an effect it had on her, and it is SO simple to do.
Good luck.
