I was thinking today about blogging. I haven't told many people in my "real life" that I blog, for several reasons. Somehow it's easier to share some things about yourself with strangers rather than those who know you best. My blog kind of feels like my own private little space, and though I somehow don't mind the entire internet world walking through here, I feel protective of it in the real world. Even though I often post silly things, I also share a lot of deep feelings here. (When Gabriella was still a baby I found these two gorgeous journals, and I bought them to write letters and such for her to keep and read when she's older. How lucky that I bought two, because now I also have one for Alexander. Most of the posts you read here about my kids and my life I will hand-write in those journals for my children.)
One other reason I haven't shared my blog with my family and friends is that I'm just a little afraid of what they will think. Will they think I'm pathetic and need to get a life? Will they think I'm a bad mother for spending time on this rather than with my children? Maybe I am pathetic and need to get a life.
But look at all the good that has come from my blog. I am writting every day now. It has been good therapy for me, helping me get my feelings out. I have found kindred spirits who know what it's like to go through depression and try to fake happiness for your kids.
How else in my life would I come into contact with a rock star? I've gotten to party with a giggler, a wild woman, a babbler, and a genuinely nice guy. I've met three famous psychoanalysts. (Who would have known - I studied them in college, and now I read their blog!) I've met a SAHM from the UK, and a vegetable-loving procrastinator. I've gotten to keep up on the lives of some friends, like the one with the gay son, the caffine-addicted soccer mom, and the mad one who hands out sarcasm for free. I've met a journalist from Canada, and a photographer from Atlanta. I've met a hair stylist and a home schooler. I've followed the story of a 14 ounce baby, and the photographs of an American living in the Netherlands.
I'm not telling you this to name-drop, or to fill a post full of links. I'm pointing this out as one of the benefits of blogging. I never would have interacted with people like this otherwise. I've found support when I needed it, as well as valadation, and humor, and friendship. (I've also learned some basic html skills.) If that is pathetic, then slap that label on me, Baby! I wouldn't want to miss this.
A note to all my friends: Please don't take offense if I didn't mention you above. I was going for diversity to prove my point. I thought of each one of you while writting this post - even those of you without a blog to link to!
